The King has gone mad. The source of his torment is as-yet unknown, but with the aristocracy, there’s a usual way these things happen.
There’s a new commercial circulating the airwaves. In it, the Burger King – stoic, expressionless – charges wildly through an otherwise banal office setting, startling erstwhile staff. Deep in a violent fugue, he attacks former friends and co-workers, body-checking them into walls, desks, and expensive office equipment. After some struggle, he is forcibly restrained, and a defiant soul cries out, “He’s insane! He’s only charging $3.99 for the Steakhouse XT Burger!” Though the rest of the narrative is cut short to shill said burger, I’m pretty sure we all know where this is going. But where did it begin? Looking back, the signs are all there.
Recently, Burger King has announced that their restaurants are now featuring elaborate new equipment, state-of-the-art broiling systems that will, according to this press release, bring rain to replenish dying crops, cure the common cold, and save your marriage. The new broilers will allow not only sweeping new paradigms of Burger King products, but will supposedly enhance the flavor of existing burgers. And that brings us to the new Steakhouse XT Burger.
The Burger in question is the apparently the biggest single-patty burger yet from the Burger King franchise. It’s celebrated as 30% larger than McDonald’s third-pounder Angus Burgers, for those that celebrate these things. Indeed, at 7 whopping (ha!) ounces, it encourages new vistas of fast food gluttony.
On the face of it, the Steakhouse XT looks like a mighty tasty burger. The patty is significantly more substantial than something you’d typically see in a fast food offering. I don’t know if it was because it was release night for the product, but the toppings I received on the burger, normally a tragedy, were quite good. The lettuce was crisp, the tomato fresh and cool, and the onions… well, okay, the onions appeared have been sitting out awhile. No one’s perfect. And contrary to venerable fast-food worker practice, no one immersed my sandwich in a condiment bath. The Junk Food Betty Product Acquisition Team did, however, have to endure a significant amount of delay, cast out from the drive-thru line to the side parking lot, to receive our purchase. But was it worth the wait?
Since this product is a demonstration of Burger King’s new magical cooking apparatus, this sandwich is all about the beef. The ample girth of the patty ensures that every bite showcases the flavor of Burger King’s flame-broiled burgers. As an ardent fan of the Whopper, I was deeply appreciative of the focus of this sandwich, highlighting BK’s meat ascendancy over McDonald’s, Wendy’s, and Carl’s Jr./Hardee’s. The toppings, as I mentioned, were high quality and complimented the burger well. The cornmeal-dusted bun rounded out the texture of each bite perfectly. Had I reviewed this sandwich without reading the previously-linked press release, I would’ve been completely satisfied.
Unfortunately, I read it beforehand. The Steakhouse XT Burger’s patty tastes identical to the BK patty you enjoy in any given BK product, it’s just larger. Sure, it’s more prevalent due to size, which is tasty, but where’s the glamour? It’s not bad, don’t get me wrong. It’s the flame-broiled Burger King flavor we all know and love, but I expected more from a broiling system as highly touted as this. The burger is also available with A1 sauce, and smokey BBQ sauce and cheddar, which may mask the status quo.
- Score: 4 little boots out of 5
- Price: $3.99
- Size: 7 oz. burger with fixin’s.
- Purchased at: Burger King #17145
- Nutritional Quirks: May cause Huguenot Syndrome