Now that I have my laptop back, hopefully for good, I’m going to use it to rip off several other food review sites and several thousand other media companies to do a little 2010 top ten list. These are the ten most viewed pages on Junk Food Betty for 2010! Try not to fall out of your chair with excitement!
While this may not seem like the most exciting product I’ve ever reviewed, I have a pretty good idea why it got viewed so much – there’s a disturbing amount of people who find JFB by searching for “tiger jumping through hoops”. In this review, I did, indeed, include a screenshot of the KFC commercial for their new wings, which included a tiger jumping through a hoop. I don’t know why tigers jumping through hoops are so popular, but hey, whatever floats your boat.
9. SNEAK PREVIEW: Denny’s Fried Cheese Melt
I’m glad this review got on the list, because it was one of my prouder moments as a little-known food blogger. The background story is one near and dear to my heart. From the training session to the Fried Cheese Melt I shouldn’t have been able to get, it was a story of love, loss, and trainers with no inside voices. One of my personal favorites.
8. Carl’s Jr. Grilled Cheese Bacon Burger
Not exactly a thriller, but it did introduce me to Carsl’s, which is a personal joke amongst my friends and myself that will probably last forever. They still haven’t changed it on their receipts, by the way. I am totally fine with that.
I learned a lot about Mountain Dew during this review. Gran’ Pappy and his rifle will live on in my heart forever.
6. Tostitos Prepáralos a Tu Gusto Salsa Verde (Tostilocos)
As of writing this, my review of Tostilocos rests seventh on Google’s front page when you search for tostilocos. It is also the #1 search term of all time that people used to find my blog. My husband speculates that this is because my blog is the first link on Google to actually use Spanish, so Spanish speakers click on my blog, expecting a Spanish website, and are only met with English and poorly-taken pictures. I just hope I’ve educated gringos on what is apparently a Mexican tradition. I know I learned a lot that day, and I hope you did, too.
The flavor of this gum wasn’t that exciting, but the mystery was. To this day, I still have no idea what Stride Mega Mystery Gum actually tastes like. I did a quick search a few months back to see if Stride had actually revealed the flavor yet, and I found no evidence that they have. Mysteries are cool, but they just get boring when you’ve finished your dinner and the butler still hasn’t been fingered as the killer.
These chips lived up to their promise of burning, and the comments section of this review is on fire (yes I did) with people who are plagued with the same problem I had – namely, getting all three burns together in a room at the same time. This is an ongoing problem and I have no idea why Doritos isn’t solving it. Regardless, I wish the best of luck to all you Doritos completionists out there, and no, I don’t know where you can find them.
3. Doritos Late Night All-Nighter Cheeseburger Tortilla Chips
No idea why these are so popular, but I’m cool with that. I support any effort that leads Doritos to believe they need to come up with more and more outlandish chips. It’s my bread and butter, baby.
2. Milky Way Simply Caramel Bar and 3 Musketeers Truffle Crisp Bars
I thought this was a seemingly innocuous review, but apparently the Internet takes its candy bars very seriously. So seriously that “3 musketeers truffle crisp” is the fifth most searched for phrase of all time that led to my blog. Admittedly, those truffle bars were quite good. Looking back, I would have bumped them up to a 4.5. Apparently others would kill a bitch to get their hands on one. Again, I don’t know where you can find them in your hometown of Bug Tussle, Oklahoma. I’m sorry.
Unsurprising but pleasing nonetheless, everyone’s favorite love-to-hate fast food item of 2010 was the most viewed page on JFB. My favorite review so far for probably obvious reasons, it was long awaited and spawned my first and only flame war in the comments section. I feel like I should have more to say about it, but I think it speaks for itself. Bunchick for President 2012.
Well, that’s it. I hope you enjoyed our little trip down memory lane. Actually, I don’t care if you enjoyed it or not; I had a lot of fun looking back at my own awful jokes and terrible photography. Here’s hoping 2011 will be just as awful awesome.