Happy 2nd Birthday, Junk Food Betty!

It’s Junk Food Betty’s 2nd birthday! And to celebrate, I’m doing my very first contest. What’s the prize? How about a package full of random junk food! It’ll be a wide variety of awesome, including some stuff you may not find in your own local stores.

How do you enter? Leave a comment on this post describing a fake weird/random/disgusting/magical junk food of your own design. It doesn’t have to be long; it just has to be. The winner will be chosen at random; fabulous or a flop, your comment will have an equal chance at winning.

Comments have to be posted by 12:00pm PST Friday, July 22, 2011. I will announce the winner the next Monday (July 25, for those of you who don’t know how to read a calendar). Make sure to enter your email address in the email field so that I can contact the winner.

Can’t wait to read your wacky creations! Help me celebrate JFB’s birthday!

35 thoughts on “Happy 2nd Birthday, Junk Food Betty!”

  1. It’s like a Choco Taco, but the shell is made out of human skin and instead of ice cream it is full of grout and sprinkled with clams casino. I call it a “FleshoFishdae”

  2. When I was younger, I used to make my version of a coffee:

    The irish cream flavor insta-coffee; mixed with the hazelnut-amaretto creamer, add some brown sugar, top it all off with whipped cream.

    So very good. So not coffee, but it’s the only way (still) I’ll drink it. Too bad you can’t find Irish Cream coffee anymore!

  3. Picture a big pink bag of chips with a purple, sparkly unicorn on the front and the words “CUPCAKE CHIPS! THEY’RE MORE MAGICAL THAN A UNICORN!” written on it.

    Inside you find potato chips… But they’re all dyed different pastel colors & covered in sprinkles with little packs of squeezy icing like you find in toaster strudel packages.

    (Typing that out kind of made my teeth hurt and my stomach churn all at the same time.)

  4. The “Junk Food Betty” – Take everything you have reviewed for the year, put it in a blender, and deep fry the resulting slurry. On a stick, of course. Yum. Congratulations Vod! 🙂

  5. I have two – both based on treats made from now hard to find (at least for me in Tennessee) foods. First a peanut butter extravaganza featuring the magical flavor of pb jelly bellies (which I can never find at pick a mix stores). That magical chemical concoction (somehow not fattening too?) but transformed into packaged sandwiches, shakes, ice creams… You name it.
    My other dream is based on grape nut o’s – an oddly delicious (and much yummier and softer than it’s health food cousin) one time cereal. During their short life I used to mix them with goldengrahams butter and marshmallows for the most delicious rice Krispy treat like yum (but better). Heck with making it myself. I want it prepackaged and chemically sealed in every convenience store in America.
    Oh and a guy bear lasagna – my holy Grail of cooking that I’ve not been able to perfect. A frozen food offering in the future?

  6. Everything I’ve come up with has been done in an even better way by Epic Meal Time, but I do have one amazing trick up my sleeve, which consists of two or more McGriddles sandwiched between a McChicken. Breakfast and a coronary.

  7. A line of outlandishly flavored gummy bears. Think jalapeno, nacho cheese, roasted red pepper, ranch, etc.

    By the way, I stumbled accross your blog about a month ago while doing research for work (I’m an intern at a snack foods company) and I LOVE IT. Keep up the good work and please, for the sake of the bored, write more 🙂

  8. Meant to say gummy bear lasagna. No interest in baking my sweet hubby or any other guy into a lasagna but he has been a willing taste tester for my past gunny bear lasagna attempts’- those little guys are stubborn about melting.

  9. Donut flavored potato chips. Quite possibly the best “lingering tastes” from opposite sides of the spectrum (sweet and salty). They just beg to be invented.

    Also, your blog is one of my daily reads. You, ma’am, are quite awsome. Happy blog birthday.

  10. I’m seriously craving chocolate chip cookies smeared with nutella then topped with whipped cream tonight, so that’s going to be my answer.

  11. A snack kind of like Lunchables/Dunkaroos with two different varieties for sweet or salty snacks with dippables (crackers/chips with salsa, nacho cheese, hummus or cookies/candy with frosting, chocolate or the aforementioned Nutella, etc).

    Also kimchi flavored potato chips.

    Happy birthday!

  12. Congratulations on the 2nd Birthday!
    I remember when you were first toying with the idea
    of starting this, now look!
    2 classic junk foods – how about if the combos pretzel and the slim jim were combined.
    Also, the chocolate flavored peanut butter should come back. Oh, and banana flip.

  13. I’m thinking something like Combos, but sweet. Crunchy cookie outside, frosting inside. Possibly dipped in chocolate. And washed down with my favorite soda treat, Coke with chocolate syrup. Yum…
    PS, love Junk Food Betty! Great blog.

  14. I would absolutely love hot dog flavored potato chips. If you had a bag of those, a bag of dill pickle flavored chips & a bag of ketchup flavored chips you could mix them all together to make an amazing potato chip meal.

  15. Half Baked Cupcakes- Brownie batter on the bottom, chocolate chip cookie dough on the top baked in a muffin tin, topped with chocolate frosting and sprinkles if you want the deluxe version.

  16. A snack mix: Chocolate covered Twinkies, chocolate covered potato chips, and chocolate covered peanuts. Nope, not Twinkie pieces, whole ones.

  17. Chocolate sponge cake, filled (Twinkie style) with a chunky peanut butter filling, dipped in funnel cake batter, deep fried, rolled in crumbled bacon pieces, and drizzled with a little maple icing. Don’t forget the dusting of powdered sugar.

    All my wife’s idea…she’s the dessert queen of the house.

  18. I really don’t want to do this, but here goes: I would love to have something like frozen panko-crusted mac & cheese “patties” with bacon in them. Not mac & cheese bites, but big bricks. Bake and eat after an evening at the bar.

  19. I’m sure something like this exists, but I’ve never had one and would love one, so I’m going to say a donut filled with peanut butter creme swirled with raspberry jam. yum!!

  20. When younger I use to heat a milkyway in a bowl in the microwave and then stir in cheerios, and eat with a spoon so yummy!

  21. I want to make giant s’mores using Strawberry Milkshake Pop-Tarts in place of the graham crackers. (This would, of course, work with S’mores Pop-Tarts as well.) These s’mores would also contain a layer of frosting, in addition to the chocolate bar and marshmallows. EXTRA marshmallows.

    On a less “out there” note, Kellogg’s needs to make Peach Cobbler Pop-Tarts, damn it… and how about some Chocolate Mocha Pop-Tarts? (Yes, with caffeine.)

  22. Meat-flavored cupcakes with condiment-flavored icing.

    Or, meat-flavored jellybeans. (Has this been done yet? If not, I can fully understand why!)

  23. It’s basically a potato chip, but it’s capable of supporting the weight of a reasonable helping of dip. It comes in a curry flavor as well.

  24. smore’s flavored ice cream that actually tastes like a smore, none of this chocolate ice cream bull crap

  25. Happy Birthday!

    My junky food invention would be jalapeno poppers filled with mac and cheese and wrapped in bacon, with even more cheese sauce to dip them in. 😀

  26. fry up 6 slices of bacon in the skillet, set aside to drain on paper towel. then fry 1 lb of Hereford Sirloin from Fresh Market in the bacon grease until browned, then throw in a finely diced small onion and a cup of mushrooms (i like shitake or baby portabella) to finish with the ground beef. Dump the bacon, the beef, the onions and the mushroom in a food processor and process until its the consistency of Taco Bell’s beef mixture. Cool the mix in a covered bowl in the fridge. once cooled, mix with monterrey jack cheese and use as filling in spring roll wrappers (i like to cut the wrappers down to finger food size, but ymmv) wrap/fold them according the instructions or your artsy preference. Drop the finished spring roll things into your trusty deep frier until translucent and crispy. Drain on a papertowel. Then mix 1:1:1 of mayo (i use kraft), mustard (prefer dijon or guidens), and Ketchup (or a1 or cocktail sauce). Dip your finished rolls in the sauce and enjoy…

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