Tag Archives: Hi-Chew

KarePax Snacks and Comics

KarePax LogoKarePax is a monthly subscription service wherein you give them a monthly fee of $26 via the Internet and they send a box international snacks to your domicile.

Does this sound familiar? It should, because it’s the exact same premise as MunchPak!

There is one thing that sets Karepax apart though – they include comics!

Now, there’s nothing wrong with some healthy competition, and the idea of including comics sounded like fun, so when Karepax offered to send me a free box, I gladly accepted.

Let’s get the vanilla facts out of the way before we get to the contents: according to Karepax, for your $26, you get between 11 and 13 snacks from 3-4 countries, as well as a handful of small candies and 2-3 comic books.

Sounded like a good deal to me, but would it live up to the hype?

My box arrived promptly and, much like with MunchPak, I felt like I was having a tiny Christmas. The box was bigger than a MunchPak, and for good reason. Let’s get down to it, because this is going to be a big one.

KarePax Contents

As you can see.

Small Candies

KarePax Small Candies

Here are some of the small candies. I will admit that I have not tried them all yet, because there’s a lot of stuff here and I’d probably die if I tried to eat it all. I call this collection the “somewhat disappointing part of your trick-or-treat haul”.

There’s a little package of Whoppers. A hard candy labeled “lemon” but with coloring that looks confusingly like it should be lime. Some chocolate coins that look like Mardi Gras gelt. And some Japanese coconut candy.

Some More Interesting Small Candies

KarePax Other Candies

Here we have a Japanese corn candy, shaped so accurately like a cob of corn that it’s disturbing but also adorable, because it’s tiny, and candy.

Also Japanese are these Flower’s Kiss candies, one with a picture of a sunflower and one with…uh…well, I’m not a botanist and I don’t read Japanese, so I’m not sure.

We also have a package of Hi-Chew. I swear I get a Hi-Chew in every MunchPak. I have Hi-Chew coming out my ears. Hi-Chew is pretty tasty, but damn, one woman can only masticate so much. This time, I got mango.

Last but not least we have a Boyer Mallo Cup. The Internet tells me that these were first made in the 1940s, and the packaging looks like it hasn’t changed a lick since then. I love when manufacturers do that.

The Internet also tells me that Mallo Cups were the first cup candy made in the United States. Way to go, Mallo!

Japanese Kit Kats

Japanese Kit Kats

I would have included these as “small snacks”, but Japanese Kit Kats are way too fascinating to not have their own section. I don’t know why, but Japan makes Kit Kats in like, 700 different flavors. It’s amazing. I would subscribe to a Japanese Kit Kat-only snack program. Go Google if you don’t believe me.

Since I can’t read a damn word on these wrappers besides “YouTube”, I had to try to figure out what flavors I had using the power of the Internet and search terms like “Japanese Kit Kat green wrapper”.

This was surprisingly useful, as it seems my best bet was that the green wrapper one was green tea-flavored. The flecked moss green color of the candy supported this, as did the flavor. It tasted like white chocolate with a little green tea flavoring, and was actually really good. I felt lucky, because this is one of the JKK flavors I’ve always wanted to try.

It seems that the black wrapper Kit Kat is “otona no amasa” flavored, which I guess translates into “Taste of Adult”. Leave it to Japan to make a Kit Kat sound absolutely dirty.

What this actually means, however, is that this was a Kit Kat marketed more towards adults than children, which is supported by the snazzy-looking black wrapper that looks like it got dressed up to go to a charity ball.

The chocolate had a darker hue than a normal Kit Kat, and that’s exactly what it tasted like. Less sweet and more bitter than a regular bar, but not quite as bitter as most dark chocolate I’ve had. This totally makes sense, as most kids I know are not fond of dark chocolate.

I got no Internet love for the third Kit Kat, but luckily there were a few helpful pictures on the wrapper, namely a wine glass and a big ol’ bunch of grapes. I was surprised that Google turned up absolutely nothing on this one. Did I somehow grab a rare Kit Kat? Are they like Pokemons?

The candy bars looked exactly like white chocolate. And holy shit, they tasted exactly like white chocolate and wine. Actual wine! Not just grapes, but wine, with all the acidity and a lot of acridness. So, not good wine. But my taste buds were completely transfixed. I’ve never tasted any candy remotely close to this. I kind of want to save the second bar for posterity or something.

Now we’re going to move on to the “big” snacks.

Jammie Dodgers

Jammie Dodgers

Jammie Dodgers are a popular British cookie, or biscuit if you live there. They are made of shortbread and raspberry jam, and are apparently named after Rodger the Dodger from the comic The Beano. I can’t do any more research on this because this review is already taking me about 20 hours.

The package proudly touts that Jammie Dodgers have “no added nasties”. But they are “full of jammie mischief”. Fucking adorable.

Shortbread cookies are less sweet and more crumbly than most American cookies, and the raspberry jam was more like a thin layer of raspberry glue. Jammie Dodgers aren’t my cup of tea, but who am I to go against an entire country of snackers? I’ll blame it on different palates.

Štark Smoki

Stark Smoki Flips

Smokis are a Serbian snack known as “flips”. If you’re intrigued by the idea of Serbian snack food, you’re not alone. But hey, everyone’s gotta snack.

Flips are peanut-flavored, peanut-shaped snacks made of cornmeal grits. If this doesn’t sound appealing, again, you’re not alone. They don’t taste appealing. They taste and feel like styrofoam packaging with some peanut flavoring that has a bad aftertaste. I guess it’s appropriate that a Serbian snack would taste depressing.

Kinder bueno

Kinder bueno

Kinder bueno is made by Ferrero, which technically makes it an Italian snack. I figured it was most popular in the UK, but it turns out it they didn’t start marketing it there until 2004. It’s really an international snack, popular from Germany to Gibraltar. We’re just a little slow here in the States.

I’ve had Kinder bueno before, and I think it’s one of the most delicious and well-crafted snacks that you could pick up at the store. (If you lived in another country.) The chocolate is delicious, the wafer is thin, light and crisp, and the cream hazelnut filling is smooth and wonderful. These really need to catch on here.

Delicje Orange European Biscuits

Delicje Orange European Biscuits

Delicje comes to us from E. Wedel, a Polish confectionery company that is apparently very well-recognized in Poland.

While you might think “European Biscuit” just means “cookie”, especially after reading about Jammie Dodgers, you’d be wrong. In this case, it’s actually more like a Jaffa Cake.

What’s a Jaffa Cake? I was about to go into it, including some interesting details about old tax laws regarding cakes versus biscuits, but holy shit, I’m getting really deep down the snack food rabbit hole here, so just read this.

Delicje are a wonderful combination of soft, dense sweet cake and orange jelly goop covered in chocolate that doesn’t taste at all cheap. I would have much more preferred a berry as opposed to orange jelly, but the overall concept is high quality and highly snackable.

Churritos Fuego Hot Chili Pepper & Lime

Churritos Fuego Hot Chili Pepper & Lime

Churritos are made by Barcel, a rather prolific Mexican snack company. At first, I thought it was funny that they would boast the “same spicy flavor as Takis”, until I realized that Barcel also makes Takis. Given that Takis are rolled corn chips, doesn’t that make Churritos the exact same thing?

I should have read the bag better, because I would have seen that these are “corn snack sticks”, not rolled corn chips. They look sort of like shoestring fries, and they’re crunchy without being gum-stabby, which Takis can be.

If you’ve ever had Flamin’ Hot Cheetos con Limon, that’s pretty much exactly what Churritos taste like. Hot chip flavoring with a hint of tart lime. These were tasty.

Nestle Sütlü Cikolatah

Nestle Sutlu Cikolatah

Check out my umlauts, ladies. This one was a little tougher to research because most of the websites were in Turkish. Which makes this from Turkey, heads up. “Sütlü” translates to “milk” and I’m going to go out on a limb with cikolatah, so it looks like we’re dealing with a milk chocolate wafer bar.

This is your typical chocolate-covered and chocolate layered wafer bar. It’s pretty good, but there’s nothing particularly special about it.

Holiday Crispie Pop

Holiday Crispie Pop

I was going to call this “Mysterious Snowman Lollipop Dude” but then I spotted the name on the back of the wrapper. It is made by the Long Grove Confectionery Co. in the good ol’ USA, which looks like an adorably wholesome little company. And that’s all I know about it.

I was delighted to discover that Holiday Crispie Pop is a Rice Krispy treat dipped in chocolate and sprinkled with big sugar crystals. The chocolate was fairly good quality and it was a fun eat. Good job, Long Grove!

Walkers Simply Roast Chicken Crisps

Walkers Simply Roast Chicken Crisps

If the Walkers logo looks familiar to US residents, that’s because it highly resembles the Lay’s logo. This is no accident, as juggernaut Frito-Lay acquired the UK brand in 1989. And, Frito-Lay-style, they have a huge corner of the crisps market across the pond.

Roast Chicken probably sounds like one of those wacko flavors that Frito-Lay is always tossing on shelves for a few months for hype value, but in reality it’s one of the staple flavors of the Walker brand. If you think that’s crazy, consider some of their other current and former flavors, like Prawn Cocktail, Marmite and Lamb & Mint Sauce, just to name a few. Roast Chicken is relatively tame by comparison.

Roast Chicken boasts that it’s made “with free range chicken from Devon”, which is impressively specific for mass-manufactured potato chips with flavor dust on them. The flavor dust does, in fact, list Devon Free Range Dried Chicken Breast as an ingredient. Disturbing, but authentic.

Upon tasting, “weird” is the first adjective that comes to mind. Unsurprisingly. There’s hints of garlic and onion, but the main ingredient I taste is “what?” If I pretend, I can taste chicken, but I’d never guess that’s what they were if the bag was blank. They’re not inedible, they’re just really odd.

Nongshim Honey & Apple Honey Twist Snack

Nongshim Honey & Apple Honey Twist Snack

If the name Nongshim sounds familiar to you, you’ve probably eaten, or at least seen, their Bowl Noodle brand of ramen on store shelves. They’re the big styrofoam ones next to Top Ramen that say “I can afford ramen that costs more than ten cents” or maybe “I don’t own a bowl”.

Nongshim is South Korea’s largest processed food manufacturer. I don’t have a full list of their products, but I figured they were only in the noodle biz. I guess they’ve got a lot of foods floating around out there, including Twist Snacks.

Honey Twist Snacks are very crunchy and have too little sweetness at first, but the more I chewed, the more the light honey glaze came through. I didn’t taste too much apple, but the honey was sweet without being cloying.

Swoffle Caramel Filled Stroopwafel

Swoffle Caramel Filled Stroopwafel

Swoffle Stroopwafel is easily my favorite snack name out of the whole bunch. It is, apparently, a “traditional Dutch treat”, but the brand Swoffle is wholly American, based out of Massachusetts.

Swoffle apparently decided they needed to make a gluten-free, healthy, organic, non-GMO stroopwafel. I’m sure the 19th century bakers who used leftover ingredients to make their stroopwafels would just shake their heads at this.

The stroopwafel smells like pancakes and syrup, which is awesome. It’s like a big, flaky, chewy piece of sugar and molasses. Not the best travel snack, but worth the sore jaw from chewing if you want a sugar fix.

Comics!

KarePax Comics

I’m not going to review the comics, because this is not Comic Book Betty. But my two comics came in a nice sleeve. It’s a super fun idea, and I could totally imagine flipping through the pages while I munched on a stroopwafel.

Wacky Packages

Wacky Packages Bumpkin Dimwits Ditz Stickers

I’m going to turn into an 8-year-old now, so bear with me. Wacky Packages are the best thing ever. They’re not just stickers, they’re trading cards. My first reaction when I saw these was “What the shit?” Then I looked at them for a few more seconds and said, “Oh my god…they’re like Garbage Pail Kids for food.”

I had to sleuth out that their true name is Wacky Packages. They’re made by Topps, and, to further blow my mind, they’ve been around since 1967 and I’ve never heard of them. They don’t just parody food brands, they parody all brands, from toothpaste to motor oil.

I got Bumpkin Dimwits, a parody of Dunkin Donuts, and Ditz, which is obviously Ritz. They’re completely juvenile and groan-inducing and I want to collect every single one of them that ever existed.

So there you have it. One KarePax box, two comics, two Wacky Packages stickers, and 28 snacks of varying sizes. I had my doubts about this service and its ability to rival MunchPak, but after doing this review, I am completely sold. I hate to fawn, but I have to admit – I’ve switched my loyalties and my subscriptions, at least for a few months. KarePax has won me over.

I also like that there’s a level of customization – you can opt out of comics for some extra snacks, or request youth-oriented comics. You can also specify peanut allergies, meat-free, or just give them a couple of flavors you don’t like so they leave those out.

If you’re interested in a box of your own, the company has given me a discount code for $10 off a 3, 6 or 12-month subscription. Enter KPXRV459 at checkout.

[Disclaimer: I received these snacks for free from KarePax. This in no way effects the objectivity of my review.]

KarePax

  • Score: 5 out of 5 Bumpkin Dimwits
  • Price: Free
  • Size: One box
  • Purchased at: Delivered for free; available at http://karepax.com/
  • Nutritional Quirk: There’s so many snacks in here, you would probably die if you tried to eat it all in one sitting. Or at least vomit.

MunchPak: 1 Box, 25 Snacks

MunchPak Logo TapeWelcome to what I have to assume will be the longest JFB review ever written! We’ve got 25 snacks to cover, here. Don’t worry, there will be lots of pictures and we’re all going to learn some new things!

I’ve been excited ever since I heard about MunchPak back in October of last year. In their own words, “MunchPak is our solution to provide the average person with a monthly variety pack of the best and most popular snacks and treats from all over the world. Unlike other subscription boxed services, MunchPak aims to provide our subscribers with the best and tastiest snacks, as opposed to just the ‘healthiest’.”

This last part may confuse you, but I’m pretty sure MunchPak is making a jab at Graze. Graze operates off the same principles as MunchPak, but they offer healthy items such as seeds, nuts and dried fruits. They’ve been operating out of the UK for some time, and I was lucky enough to get a very early invite to the US beta of Graze.

It’s fun, but as MunchPak points out, it’s also very healthy, and does not offer anything brand name. As you might guess, the idea of having international, brand name junk food delivered to my door was something I was mighty interested in.

MunchPak Box

MunchPak sent me a sample to review, and it did not disappoint in quantity or variety.

MunchPak Contents

Some will have few words and only packaging pictures; this is just too big to get into everything. I’m going to assume Americans are familiar with some of these; I apologize to my international audience, but to be fair, MunchPak is made for US residents.

You might notice something missing – the Herr’s Ketchup Potato Chips. I have no idea where that bag went. My only two guesses are that one of my cats managed to get in the box and drag it off to some hidden location, or I got drunk and ate them and forgot I did so. The latter seems more likely.

Anyways, it looks like the rest survived, so let’s get down to business!

Chex Mix Traditional

Chex Mix Traditional Package

A classic. Can’t go wrong here.

Gardetto’s Original Recipe Snack Mix

Gardetto's Original Recipe Snack Mix Package

Another classic. Gardetto’s also makes bags that contain nothing but their Roasted Garlic Rye Chips, which I think is genius because those are obviously the best part of their Snack Mix.

de la Rosa Peanut Candy Marzypan Style

de la Rosa Peanut Candy Marzypan Style Package

Here we have our first international offering. De la Rosa is a Mexican candy company, and I see them often on store shelves. MunchPak just so happens to be based out of Scottsdale, AZ, which is about a ten minute drive from where I live, so I know for a fact they’ve got easy access to Mexican treats.

Despite the availability, I rarely sample any of these goods. There’s no particular reason for this; I’ve just never gotten around to it. This is one of the reasons why I love the idea of MunchPak so much – I might see these things on store shelves every day, but never bother trying them if it weren’t for MunchPak.

This Peanut Candy Marzypan (I love that spelling so much) Style is like deconstructed peanut butter. As soon as it hits your saliva, it turns into a sugary peanut powder.

I can’t say I’ve ever had such a candy experience before. Neither the sugar nor the peanut are overpowering, but the texture is super interesting. I can’t say I’m in love with it, but it was definitely unique.

Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme Bar

Hershey's Cookies 'n' Creme Bar Package

I used to really dislike milk chocolate, and when Hershey’s came out with this candy bar, I was over the moon about it. I’ve since expanded my horizons, but I’m still fond of Cookies ‘n’ Creme, with its white chocolate and little chocolate crunchy balls.

Meiji Hello Panda Biscuits with Milk Cream

Hello Panda Biscuits with Milk Cream Package

Hello Panda is a Japanese candy, in case you couldn’t guess. This box is adorable.

Hello Panda Biscuits with Milk Cream

Sports I was able to identify: sailing, shouting into a megaphone?, fencing, being a pirate with a scimitar?, parasailing, kayaking, rollerblading, playing basketball with a baseball, golfing, hockey, lacrosse, skateboarding, and what I can only describe as “boogie-ing”.

That’s a crazy fucking variety of prints! I’m totally impressed, Hello Panda, even if some of these don’t really seem like sports. Golf, for example. Heh heh heh.

As for the taste, it’s kind of like a thin vanilla Teddy Graham filled with some knockoff Oreo creme. I feel like I’m not really nailing it there, but I tried.

Pop-Tarts Strawberry Toaster Pastry

Pop-Tarts Strawberry Toaster Pastry Package

Hey, it’s Strawberry Pop-Tarts! Okay!

Unknown Asian Rice Cracker Thingies

Unknown Asian Crackers Package

What you see is what you get, here. Puffy cracker…things in a clear package, with three symbols on them, presumably Japanese? There’s no way for me to even look this up. If you know what these wrappers say, I’d love to hear it in the comments.

How do I describe this thing? It was very crunchy, like a dense rice cracker. It was not sweet; it had a somewhat earthy flavor to it. It tasted foreign. I wish I had better words for it. Seaweed? Some sort of bizarre curry? I’m at a loss. The one thing I do know is that I would not like to see this in future MunchPaks.

CornNuts BBQ Crunchy Corn Kernels

CornNuts BBQ Crunchy Corn Kernels Package

CornNuts are one of those snacks that I feel I’m too adult to be eating. Like, it was okay to eat them as a kid, but no respectable adult actually eats them. I’m pretty sure that’s a weird thing to think, but I will also say that as an older person with bad teeth, I’m terrified that they will break my mouth. Seriously, CornNuts are hard.

Imagine every BBQ-flavored chip/sunflower seed/whatever other snack, and you know the flavor of these CornNuts, although I will say the BBQ powder is nicely understated.

Morinaga Hi-Chew Grape Fruit Chews

Hi-Chew Grape Fruit Chews Package

Hi-Chew is Japanese in origin and was apparently created in 1931 by a guy who wanted to find a way to make swallowable gum because taking food out of your mouth is considered impolite in Japan. I guess the whole “Want some ABC gum?” joke doesn’t go over well there. Also, I’m pretty sure everything is considered impolite in Japan.

Anyways, that’s a pretty cool origin story, and apparently more than 113 flavors have been created over the years.

I got grape.

Hi-Chew Grape Fruit Chew

The texture of Hi-Chew was unlike any other chewy candy I’ve had. It was like a mix between a Starburst and a gummy bear. It lasted a little while, like the former, but was also springy and wanted to stick to itself, like the latter. Very interesting.

I wasn’t too fond of the grape flavor – it reminded me a little too much of grape-flavored medicine.

Snyder’s of Hanover Peanut Butter Pretzel Sandwiches

Snyder's of Hanover Peanut Butter Pretzel Sandwiches Package

Here’s another common snack that I’ve never bothered to try. Peanut butter pretzel sandwiches are completely pedestrian, but I’ve never had Snyder’s before. Frankly, the whole cracker/pretzel sandwich thing reminds me of elementary school day care. But if you’re looking for a high-quality snack sandwich, I would say Snyder’s is the way to go.

de la Rosa Japanese Cocktail Peanuts

de la Rosa Japanese Cocktail Peanuts Package

de la Rosa Japanese Cocktail Peanuts are vying for “favorite MunchPak snack” before I even taste them for several reasons: first off, they’re Japanese peanuts made by a Mexican snack company. So multicultural! Also, what the hell is a cocktail peanut? I can’t wait to find out!

Third and most obvious:

de la Rosa Japanese Cocktail Peanuts Package Cartoon

I have never seen a happier pair of semi-racist peanuts. I wish I could find that much joy in my life, and I’m an easily amused person.

So, if these are any indication, cocktail peanuts are peanuts with a salty, crunchy coating that actually has very little flavor, unless you count peanut. This basically makes them peanuts+. Could definitely see having a beer with these.

Penguin Original

Penguin Original Package

Those two words are the only things I know about this, without doing any research. That is all the package had to say. I assumed it was a candy. That was all.

According to Wikipedia, this is a “milk chocolate-covered biscuit bar filled with chocolate cream”. They were apparently created in Glasgow, which is in Scotland, just in case you failed geography. My first Scottish snack!

Actually, there’s one more thing – each wrapper comes with a joke! Are you ready for some laffos?

Q: What do you call a happy Penguin?

A: A Pen-Grin

I kind of love you already, Penguin.

Penguin Original Bar

The bar was basically a chocolate-covered chocolate wafer. Despite being chocolate-on-chocolate, it was actually very light, airy and not too rich or overwhelming. Way to go, Penguin!

I also really, really want to buy a case of Penguin bars just so I can read all the penguin-related jokes. Really. Really.

Kellogg’s Rice Krispies Treats Marshmallow Square

Kellogg's Rice Krispies Treats Marshmallow Square Package

Another pedestrian offering. And yet, the moment I saw it, I said to myself, you know what, I do want a Rice Krispies Treat! This is perfect.

Observant me, at first I thought this was some bizarre blank packaging. And then I saw, “A wrapper you can write on!”

Kellogg's Rice Krispies Treats Marshmallow Square Package JFB

How adorable is that for a mom making her kid’s lunch? Screw Post-It notes when you can write on a Rice Krispies Treat!

Marinela Barritas fresa Strawberry Filled Cookies

Barritas fresa Strawberry Filled Cookies Package

These guys be Mexican in origin.

Barritas fresa Strawberry Filled Cookies

I had absolutely no idea what to expect when I tried one, but when I opened the package, I was instantly reminded of Tactical Sammich, which is something you never want to be reminded of when you’re supposedly eating a strawberry cookie.

In reality, these things have the exact taste and texture of a Strawberry Fig Newton, which I guess are technically Strawberry Newtons. Another snack I haven’t had in forever. Verdict: yum.

The Original Cracker Jack

The Original Cracker Jack Package

Another classic. But there is one thing that always makes Cracker Jacks unique…

The Original Cracker Jack Prize

SCORE! A motherfuckin’ temporary tattoo. The best of all Cracker Jack prizes, in my opinion. Now, back in my day, you got a a whole booklet of the things, but I will accept Underbite Swashbuckle, He of Ye One Gold Tooth. Swashbuckle rules. If I were still in school, he’d be plastered on my cheek tomorrow. And we’re talking college, here.

De la Rosa Pulparindo Hot and Salted Tamarind Pulp Candy

de la Rosa Pulparindo Hot and Salted Tamarind Pulp Candy Package

Tamarind is a popular candy flavor in Mexico. I’m pretty sure I’ve never tasted it before. It has a Wikipedia page that is as intimidating in length as tamarind itself is in looks. The words “hot and salted” are a little scary, too, but this is all about new things and adventure.

de la Rosa Pulparindo Hot and Salted Tamarind Pulp Candy

It was like a short, thick Fruit Roll-Up, and also the stickiest candy I have ever encountered. The instant my fingers touched it, they could touch nothing else without leaving a gross residue.

It was easy to chew and the sugar quickly disintegrated, but I am apparently not fucking man enough for Mexican candy.

It tasted like a sugary, salty piece of soft taffy made entirely of chili powder. Hogod. I don’t feel comfortable calling it terrible, because I know tamarind candy is crazy popular in the Mexican community and I think I’m just experiencing culture shock. But my mouth was not ready for a chili powder Fruit Roll-Up. The more it sat in there melting, the more I thought, hmmm, maybe I could get used to this. But for now? Whoo.

Nutella Hazelnut Spread with Skim Milk & Cocoa

Nutella Hazelnut Spread with Skim Milk & Cocoa Package

I’ve never had Nutella. I’ve been told that puts me in the minority. I’ve also been told you’re supposed to spread it on toast, but I decided to just dunk my finger right in there, like the classy lady I am. Listen, I’m going through 25 snacks, here. I don’t have time for things like toast.

Also, look at that little package! It’s adorable! It’s like a single serving jam, but somehow even less healthy!

I’m not gonna get all into how it tasted since I’m guessing most Americans already know. I will say, however, that it is delicious, and I have been missing out. Thank you for educating me, MunchPak!

Walkers Pure Butter Shortbread

Walkers Pure Butter Shortbread Package

In case you couldn’t tell by the “this is my fancy kilt” packaging, Walkers Pure Butter Shortbread are made in Scotland.

Walkers Pure Butter Shortbread

And I have to say, what happened, Scotland? You did so well with the Penguin Original Bar, but this is a total disaster. It tasted like a buttery, slightly salty dog biscuit. While I’d like to pretend I’ve never had a Milk Bone before, I’m almost positive that I tried one during my curious youth, and I’m really not far off, here.

There’s only four ingredients: wheat flour, sugar, butter, and salt, but I think they switched the order around. I’m pretty sure sugar belongs last on this list. Blech. Woof.

Marukawa Strawberry Bubble Gum

Marukawa Strawberry Bubble Gum Package

This is a Japanese gum. The box is adorably small – only a little bit bigger than a quarter. You could easily forget and leave it in your pocket, resulting in a laundry disaster that I have experienced firsthand and is entirely unpleasant.

I would have made Marukawa Bubble Gum the gum of choice for my Barbie dolls back in my childhood days.

Each piece of gum is round and a little smaller than a Lemonhead, which means you’ll have to toss all four pieces into your mouth if you want anything close to a normal amount of gum.

It had a pleasant artificial strawberry with an odd hint of mint.

The texture was also very weird – the balls had a shiny coating, but that quickly gave way to the feeling that the gum was going to fall apart in my mouth at any second. Have you ever made the mistake (as a kid, hopefully) of trying to eat chocolate and gum at the same time? That was the sensation I felt, except it just baaaarely kept holding itself together. It did blow a pretty good bubble, though.

It’s bizarre to actually feel something new in the way of gum, but this certainly qualifies for me, so at least there’s that.

Chick-O-Stick

Chick-O-Stick Package

I’ve never had a Chick-O-Stick, but it seems like one of those candies that have always been around. According to this very narrow package, it is “Crunchy Peanut Butter and Toasted Coconut Candy”.

What does this have to do with chicks? Not a damn clue.

I’m not that fond of coconut, but of course I was going to give it a try. They’ve been around since the Great Depression, so something must be going right for them.

Holy shit are Chick-O-Sticks bright orange. But you know what? It turns out their taste and texture is almost exactly like that of a Butterfinger! I was very pleasantly surprised.

There is a faint aftertaste of coconut, but the Butterfinger-esque flavor is so strong that I really didn’t mind it, and the two went pretty well together. Lesson: don’t be scared of snacks, kids!

Marinela Gansito Filled Snack Cake

Marinela Gansito Filled Snack Cake Package

As you may have guessed, this is a product of Mexico. Apparently, “gansito” translates to “little goose”, which explains the mascot. But does anyone else think he looks like he’s barely escaping a lawsuit from Disney for looking like Scrooge McDuck’s nephews? Just sayin’.

Marinela Gansito Filled Snack Cake

Honestly, this was pretty disappointing. I guess the best I could describe it is as a generic knock-off chocolate-covered Twinkie. The chocolate covering tastes cheap, and the sprinkles on top add nothing. The sponge cake inside is okay, but the cream tastes slightly off. Just overall mildly disappointing.

Toxic Waste Sour Smog Balls

Toxic Waste Sour Smog Balls Package

This candy comes with a story on the back of the package! I already love it. Here it is! This is the longest story I’ve ever seen on a candy package!

Toxic Waste Sour Smog Balls Dr. Smogg Professor Sauernoggin

THE FIENDISH PLOT OF DR. SMOGG

“Dr. Igor Smogg is a wealthy industrialist who made his fortune in heavy manufacturing. But his methods are wasteful and produce lots of toxic by-products, which he disposes of in environmentally irresponsible ways. His latest scheme is to pump massive amoutns of toxic smog into the atomosphere from the smokestacks of his factory. Once airborn, the pollution will condese into particles of solid waste and rain down upon the unsuspecting countryside.

“Fortunately, Professor Sauernoggin is on the case! Sauernoggin has dedicated his life to finding ways to transofmr toxic waste into good and useful products. Once blast from his [unreadable] ‘Smog-o-matic’ ray gun and the cloud will rain down delicious sour candy balls…an outcome Dr. Smogg is less than pleased about!”

Whew! That’s quite the backstory!

Toxic Waste Sour Smog Balls are Crunchy Candy with a Sour Chewy Center and come in blue raspberry, strawberry, lemon, grape, lime and cherry. Way to not fall for the green apple trend, Toxic Waste!

I dunno if I’d call the center “chewy”, exactly. More like “fall apart-y”. The sour level is what I’d call middlin’. It’s one of those novelty candies for the kids that delivers more in fun than in taste. But how can you not love Dr. Igor Smogg and Professor Sauernoggin?

Wow. We’re done. I dunno about you, but I’m exhausted. I obviously didn’t sample all these in one day; I’m not even sure that would be possible.

MunchPak offers a Mini version and a FamilyPak, and you can get it delivered monthly, bi-weekly or weekly. If I were rich, I would get a weekly family pack, but I’ve instead opted for the Original MunchPak delivered monthly for $20.20. It seems like all these snacks actually add up to more than that if you were to buy them separately, which is cool.

I got my first paid-for MunchPak before I finished this review, and I am so happy to report that my one fear was completely unfounded. I thought perhaps I’d wind up getting the same things month after month, but my two MunchPaks are completely different from each other. This excites me to no end. Seriously.

I really, really love MunchPak. I think it’s a great idea and it’s fun as hell. If you spend any amount of time in the snack aisles of the convenience store, I highly, highly recommend this.

Oh my god we’re done.

[Disclaimer: Junk Food Betty received this product free from MunchPak. This is no way compromises the integrity of my review.]

MunchPak

  • Score: 5 out of 5 amazing snacks
  • Price: Free (sample)
  • Size: Original
  • Purchased at: Received free in the mail
  • Nutritional Quirks: I’m pretty sure nothing in this box is actually good for you. Yay!