Ghoul-Aid Scary Blackberry is not new. I am sorry that I have to call Kool-Aid’s packaging a liar, but The Surfing Pizza caught you with the exact same packaging last year. Oops.
But that’s okay, because I love Ghoul-Aid. I wasn’t aware of it last year, but once I saw it this year, it brought back old, vague memories of it having existed sometime in my childhood.
I knew I’d had Ghoul-Aid before. I knew a part of me missed it. And the Internet proved me right.
Doing a quick Google Image Search for “old Ghoul-Aid” showed me that it wasn’t just a fever dream or wishful thinking. I WAS RIGHT. And now I have the chance to relive those wonderful memories. Or prove once again that things I loved as a child don’t really hold up in adulthood. Either way.
To be honest, I can’t see this going wrong. Kool-Aid has almost never let me down, and if Ghoul-Aid doesn’t scream Halloween to you, well then, you have a dead soul.
Just look at that package. How many things are awesome about it? Let me count the ways.
Spooooooky black/purple background, complete with giant moon and bats. Creeeeepy slime font declaring this to be Ghoul-Aid, which is a no-brainer in the Halloween re-branding department, if you ask me. Scary Blackberry flavor, which not only brings the right color to the Halloween party, but it also rhymes. Seriously, Kool-Aid would be committing a crime not to have initially thought of this. It all writes itself.
And then, of course, there’s the Kool-Aid Man. He’s done a lot of things throughout the years; busting through walls, surfing, even riding a motherfucking pink shark. Fuck that Dos Equis guy; the Kool-Aid Man is obviously the most interesting man in the world.
I’d like to think the Kool-Aid Man actually is a vampire, and Ghoul-Aid is his one chance to show his true colors and his snazzy suit and classic vampire cape. I like the sneakers; it says, “sure, I vant to suck your blhaad, but I’m still a fun guy”.
One glaring omission: no fangs! I was pretty disappointed by this, until I realized that the Kool-Aid Man is filled not with a classic red Kool-Aid flavor, but with blood. Who needs fangs when your entire head is full of blood? Watch out, dude; you’re spilling your precious hemoglobin.
I love his stance, too. It looks like he’s lunging forward, about to throw some ice cubes and Scary Blackberry right in someone’s face. He seems pretty happy about it, too. I have a feeling the recipient would be less happy, especially if they were wearing white. Who cares, though – he’s the Kool-Aid Man; he can do whatever the fuck he wants. One “OH YEAH!” and all is forgiven.
In case you’re a mummy who just woke up after a thousand-year sleep, here’s how you make Kool-Aid: get a pitcher. Empty a packet of the powder into the pitcher. Add a cup (more or less, depending on how sweet or tart you like it) of sugar. Add two quarts of water. Stir that shit.
It’s so easy, even I can make Kool-Aid, and most of the time without setting anything on fire!
Upon opening the wrapper that contained the 5-pack of Ghoul-Aid, I was pleasantly surprised with a strong and definitive blackberry odor. This, before I had even opened a packet! Things were off to a good start.
And check this shit out! Scary Blackberry powder is orange! omg omg I love you even more now Ghoul-Aid for you have managed to incorporate both of Halloween’s colors into one beverage.
I would have seen this coming if I’d actually read through the links I posted earlier, but I didn’t, and I was glad because Halloween should be full of fun surprises and this was one of them.
Another fun surprise: as soon as water touched the powder, it instantly turned black. To quote Nathan Explosion, it was blacker than the blackest black…times infinity. Add “dark magic” to the Kool-Aid Man’s list of awesome abilities.
Even when diluted with two full quarts of water, Ghoul-Aid remained black with just the tiniest hint of purple. I know it’s a little late, but man, you need to be serving this at your Halloween party. I can’t think of another more appropriate beverage, besides maybe some of that blood from the Kool-Aid Man’s head.
I have to say, Ghoul-Aid Scary Blackberry is delicious. I added just a teensy bit less than a full cup of sugar because I like my Kool-Aid a little tart, and it came out perfect. While not an exact match to actual blackberry juice, Ghoul-Aid came amazingly close. I think if you blindfolded someone and asked them to identify the flavor, they could actually identify it as blackberry. Shame on you for blindfolding someone and making them miss out on the joy of being able to see they’re drinking liquid darkness.
Call it odd that I have such enthusiasm for a powder-based sugar drink, but I do. I eerily do. Kool-Aid Ghoul-Aid Scary Blackberry has the perfect name, great packaging and awesome orange powder that magically turns completely black. Oh, right, and it actually tastes like blackberry! I bought it in a pack of five, but I think I might go back and buy some more before Halloween ends so that I can have Ghoul-Aid year-round. I will have a perpetually black-stained zombie tongue, and I’m okay with that.
Kool-Aid Ghoul-Aid Scary Blackberry
- Score: 5 out of 5 pitchers of blood
- Price: $1.00
- Size: Pack of 5 0.14 oz. packets
- Purchased at: Target
- Nutritional Quirks: Does amazing color-changing powder count? I say yes.