Tag Archives: pumpkin pie

Junk Food

M&Ms White Pumpkin Pie

Leave a comment

Hey y’all, it’s Halloween! Well, it’s October, so to me that means it’s Halloween.

That also means it’s time to be completely inundated in pumpkin spice-flavored items, a fad I swore would be gone by now and replaced by, like, slime. Let’s make slime the wave of future Halloween, guys! Oreo-flavored slime for everyone!

As with all things Halloween, the packaging is so important. M&Ms is going low-key here, sticking with a color palette that matches the candy within – brown for the crust, orange for the pie filling, and off-white for the absolutely required whipped cream. Orange M is seen popping out of a pumpkin, looking terrified, like “WTF was I doing in there?”

And that’s about it for the fall festivities. Not very impressive.

Does M&Ms still use “melts in your mouth, not in your hands” as a slogan? Because it turns out that they might not melt in your hands, but they will…morph in your mail. Because I’m a lazy bastard, I ordered my M&Ms off of Target’s website, not even thinking about the fact that hey, it’s still 100 degrees in Arizona in October!

So this is what happens when you subject M&Ms to a hot UPS truck. I decided to go ahead with the review, however, because a.) I don’t want to buy White Pumpkin Pie M&Ms TWICE and b.) I expect this to be a pretty short review anyways. It’s a pumpkin M&M, I can’t really go Dickens on the thing.

It seems like the heat somewhat changed the chocolate on the inside, too, although when I ate them they had a regular texture. (Even the shell was still crunchy, despite their dulled appearance and apparent expansion. Weird.)

If the heat did anything to change the taste, however, I say: leave your M&Ms White Pumpkin Pie out in the heat. (Can we bring back the “chocolate” part of white chocolate? Just saying “white” sounds…weird.) I was surprised at how much I enjoyed these candies.

Keeping in mind that these are pumpkin pie and not pumpkin spice-flavored, M&Ms really nailed it. They taste just like pumpkin pie filling. It feels clean and simple; I didn’t have to sit here and figure out if the nutmeg or the cinnamon were too overpowering. It just tasted like pumpkin pie and that was that. I mean, they forgot the crust and the whipped cream, but I’m thankful for small victories.

So often with M&Ms White (Chocolate), the cloying sweetness of that flavor distracts from what the flavor of the candy is supposed to be. Here, however, it took a backseat, which really let the balanced pumpkin pie flavor shine through. Again, maybe it was the effects of the heat; if so, I should start tossing every bag of flavored M&Ms I get in the microwave for a while. But probably take them out of the bag first.

M&Ms White Pumpkin Pie

  • Score: 4 out of 5 hot UPS trucks
  • Price: $3.00
  • Size: 8 oz. bag
  • Purchased at: Target (okay fine, target.com)
  • Nutritional Quirk: Honestly, no surprises here. No real pumpkin in the ingredients, of course.
Junk Food

Limited Time Only Pringles Pumpkin Pie Spice

Leave a comment

Happy Thanksgiving! Pumpkin Pie Pringles.

I mentioned in an earlier post that if I saw one more thing pumpkin spice-flavored for the holidays that I was going to flip out and cause an “incident” at the grocery store. My annoyance with pumpkin spice remains – adding some nutmeg and cinnamon to your frozen waffles and calling it a limited time holiday blah blah is a cheap ploy.

However, we all know there are exceptions to every rule, and this is one of them, for reasons I don’t need to explain but will anyways. These are Pringles, and they are Pumpkin Pie Spice-flavored. Yeah. No explanation needed.

Pringles aren’t really potato chips, per se. They’re dried potatoes pressed into a shape that can be used to make a duck bill-face that will amuse your three-year-old nephew for about five seconds. This shape is also convenient for stacking in their iconic cardboard tubes, which I’m sure we’ve all used as a coin bank at some point in our lives. Sour cream and onion dimes.

My friends and I butt heads about many things, mostly because arguing with each other is our #1 pastime. We seem to have come to an agreement about Pringles, however. And yes, these are the things we talk about. Pringles.

The conclusion we came to about Pringles is that we never really seek them out. I wouldn’t choose Pringles over, say, a kettle chip, or a regular chip, or…well, pretty much anything that can legally be called a chip and not a dried potato product. They are like salted tater cardboard. In fact, I actually feel a little odd eating them, like I’m eating something that should not be.

And yet, the unanimous yet guilt-ridden confession from all of us was that, if there were Pringles were placed in front of us, we would eat them. A stack of them, in fact. I don’t know why; it’s just one of those things. Maybe it’s the fact that they seem saltier than chips, which allows us to pretend that we’re eating a normal salty snack and not something that’s one step removed from instant mashed potato flakes.

The essence of Pringles themselves is not the main focus here, however. The main focus is PUMPKIN PIE SPICE PRINGLES WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE.

Pringles has gone insane. Not just one time, but three times. You’ll see more on that in later posts. Teaser alert.

So, yeah. Pumpkin Pie Spice Pringles. That’s just so fundamentally wrong. Which is probably why they created them. As long as the Internet hype machine continues to feed into batshit crazy food products, companies will continue to create them.

I’m obviously thrilled about this. Right up until the time when I realize I actually have to eat them.

I have to say, though, Pringles really committed to this flavor, and it shows in the packaging. That’s a beautiful pumpkin nestled amongst those cinnamon sticks. It’s the type of pumpkin that’s begging to have a face carved into it, but since we’re past that holiday, it’s going to be used to make a pie, which also happens to be the lovely and innocuous backdrop on the can to announce the unnatural flavor that lies inside.

Almost unnoticed but possibly the best part, there’s some can-on-can action going on! There’s a pumpkin can on the can! I’ve never seen a pumpkin shaped like that, but I love it. I want my Pringles in an actual pumpkin can. Not really a viable option, but-

Wait, what am I saying? Don’t suck me in with your strange yet adorable packaging, Pringles. Gotta keep my eye on what’s really going on, here. Dried potato crisps flavored like pumpkin pie.

I tend to give the sniff test to things that I think are going to taste gross. You’d think I’d just want to shove them in my mouth and get it over with, but I guess I’m just a masochist like that.

When I administered the sniff test to my can of Limited Time Only Pringles Pumpkin Pie Spice, I smelled…pumpkin pie. Cinnamon, sugar, nutmeg…I swear I even smelled a hint of crust.

Encouraging, right?

Taking not gagging at the smell as a good sign, I dove right in to the potato crisps. Lo and behold, they tasted like…pumpkin goddamn pie.

Well, pretty much. Again, the cinnamon, sugar and nutmeg were all present, and the essence of pumpkin pie was immediate. I found myself not repulsed, but a little creeped out. The flavor and the powder dusting were just right, in that all the flavors were there and worked together without being overpowering.

The downfall of Pumpkin Pie Spice Pringles lies in the Pringles themselves. The pie flavor recedes rather quickly, but the Pringle has more staying power, leaving you with dried potato and salt mixed with pumpkin pie. This is not a nice finish.

The ability of Limited Time Only Pringles Pumpkin Pie Spice to capture the actual flavor of pumpkin pie spice left my mouth confused. On the one hand, I wanted to praise them for their accuracy. On the other hand, I wanted to hate them…for their accuracy. As I said before, it’s just creepy.

Luckily, Pringles saved me the trouble of trying to come to terms with my feelings by being Pringles. What starts off tasty quickly turns unsettling, as pumpkin pie battles salty dried potatoes, and the potatoes win. You can put all the spices you want on the Pringles, but you can’t take the Pringles out of Pringles.

Limited Time Only Pringles Pumpkin Pie Spice

  • Score: 2 out of 5 Pringles duck bills
  • Price: $1.50
  • Size: 6.38 oz. can
  • Purchased at: Walmart (exclusive)
  • Nutritional Quirks: Pumpkin not listed as an ingredient! Shocking! Contains less than 2% of “natural flavors”! Also shocking!

Fat Guy Foodblog and The Impulsive Buy also prepared their palates for Pumpkin Pie Pringles.

Junk Food

Pop-Tarts Limited Edition Frosted Pumpkin Pie Toaster Pastries

8 Comments

Pop-Tarts Toaster Pastries come in 32 different iterations. You’d think that would be enough, but now there’s Pop-Tarts Limited Edition Frosted Pumpkin Pie Toaster Pastries. Seems like a stretch at first, but hey, stuff some canned pumpkin pie filling into the already existing pastry crust, throw some frosting on top to represent whipped cream, and blammo, you’ve got yourself an autumn gimmick product!

The front of the box has a pretty generic fall landscape, but the real fun is on the back of the box.

Fall Fun! To be more specific. I’d attempt making Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts a la mode, which involves mashing up the pastries, lumping them on top of a scoop of reduced-fat frozen vanilla yogurt, and topping that with fat-free caramel ice cream topping, but I only have two Pop-Tarts and I only eat extra-fat vanilla ice cream. I love how Pop-Tarts tries to act like they’re soooo good for your kids. One of these Pop-Tarts has 200 calories, so if you finish off a pack of two you’ve just consumed more calories than are in a Whopper Jr.  Not to shatter any illusions or anything.

A more interesting suggestion for Fall Fun, however, is making your own Pumpkin People!

The instructions are pretty easy: grab some little pumpkins or gourds, collect a bunch of nature bullshit like pinecones, leaves and pine needles, and glue that shit together. Unfortunately, I live in the southwest, so I guess if I made Pumpkin People they’d be covered in cactus needles and rocks. That’s depressing.

Pop-Tarts describes this process as “making your new friends”, but these Pumpkin People look like the natives are getting restless. I know the cold seasons can be trying on children who live in colder climates, but surely you could make some more friendly friends to hang out with when it’s snowing. Make your own Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man, perhaps? Of course, if you’re going to consider Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts a Halloween item, you should make your Pumpkin People as scary as possible. Maybe using cactus needles isn’t such a sad idea after all. Pumpkin Person Pinhead, here I come!

After a brief stint in the toaster oven, I took my Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tart out and cut it in half, and was instantly hit with the familiar smell of…well shucks, it smells like pumpkin pie! And it tastes like it, too! Okay, well not exactly. I am eating a Pop-Tart and not a slice of pie, after all. But the pumpkin pie taste comes through quite strongly, evoking memories of Thanksgiving and all the dishes I had to wash afterwards.

The pastry that holds the filling is largely tasteless, but the frosting adds a nice sweetness to the pumpkin flavor and does its best to make you forget that Pop-Tart crust sucks. It’s no whipped cream, but it’ll suffice in a pinch. I would have preferred my fall-inspired sprinkles to be a little less neon, and last time I checked, purple and hot pink were not fall colors. In fact, let me amend my previous statement: I would have preferred my fall-inspired sprinkles to be a little less not having anything to do with fall.

Honestly, I was impressed at the actual pumpkin pie-ness of these Pop-Tarts, until I realized that, seriously, all they had to do was take canned pumpkin pie filling and shove it into their already existing product. However, Pop-Tarts gets props for at least trying, which is more than I can say for 90% of the other products lining store shelves this month. Seriously, Ritz, where’s my bat-flavored cracker? You suck.

Thanks to the dedicated reader who graciously donated these Pop-Tarts to make this review happen!

The Impulsive Buy and Rodzilla Reviews also reviewed these.

  • Score: 3 out of 5 angry Pumpkin People
  • Price: Free (thanks again!)
  • Size: 21.1 oz. box (12 toaster pastries)
  • Purchased at: Target
  • Nutritional Quirks: Two Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts have almost as much sugar as a can of Coke. Good luck getting your kids to focus on making those Pumpkin People! Now that’s true horror.