Starburst Fruit Flavored Candy Corn

Starburst Fruit Flavored Candy Corn BagThis website isn’t a Lisa Frank diary where I talk about my personal life and how Bobby put a worm in my hair at recess today, but I feel I owe my dear readers an explanation as to why JFB has been even more sparsely updated than usual, especially since it’s my favorite time of year, when I at least try to cram as much Halloween goodness as I can on here.

Thing is, I’ve had two brain surgeries over the span of two weeks this month. Don’t worry, I’m not dying, nor did they remove the part of my brain that thinks awful puns are funny – much to the regret of all of you, I’m sure.

But I couldn’t help the timing, and it kinda wiped me out, resulting in a mostly Halloween-free October. Trust me, nobody’s face is more 🙁 than mine about this. Then again, my surgeries went really well and I could not be more 🙂 about them. Emoticons!

Plus, half my head is shaved and I have some gnarly-ass stitches, so I’ve pretty much got a built-in Halloween costume. Suck it, Bride of Frankenstein!

With all that business out of the way, let’s get to some candy.

Starburst Fruit Flavored Candy Corn. Because, as you may have noticed, I just can’t get enough candy corn.

Super unimpressed with the packaging. There’s nothing Halloweeeny about it. Couldn’t throw a bat or a witch onto the purple background? Maybe turned the traditional Starburst font into dripping blood? If it weren’t for the fact that it’s candy corn, this could easily look like a year-round product.

Starburst Fruit Flavored Candy Corn

These corns are based on the original Starburst flavors: cherry, lemon, strawberry, and orange. I probably didn’t have to clarify that, but I figured I’d be thorough. Throwing a bone to my colorblind readers.

My feelings about the Starburst candy corns themselves were the exact opposite of what I felt about the packaging. Bless the dark magic in your heart, Starburst: you made a candy corn with the exact texture of candy corn, but zero candy corn flavor.

So what do these candy corns taste like, if not candy corn? Well, they tasted exactly like Starburst! It was like having a bag of Starburst candies that, instead of being chewy, were easily masticated and dissolved into a giant burst of sugary fruit candy.

Regular Starburst candies take a little time to get through due to their texture, but I found I could easily get into Halloween stomachache mode eating handfuls of these.

The easiest way to put it is that if you like Starburst, you’ll like Starburst Fruit Flavored Candy Corns. And I like Starburst.

I really can’t think of anything bad to say about these candy corns, but for the sake of playing devil’s advocate, I guess some people might bitch about the fact that they’re called candy corns but taste nothing like candy corns. Obviously, I see this as a plus. But if you’re some sort of candy corn-loving weirdo, well, spider crawl your way back to Brach’s.

Heck, maybe they’re onto something with the generic packaging after all. I could definitely eat these year-round. For the sake of my teeth and my stomach, I guess I’m glad these are a holiday treat.

Or I could go back and buy 12 more bags.

Starburst Fruit Flavored Candy Corn

  • Score: 4.5 out of 5 “you missed a perfect score on a technicality since haters gonna quibble that you ain’t really candy corns”
  • Price: $2.69
  • Size: 20 oz. bag
  • Purchased at: Target
  • Nutritional Quirks: Candy corn: 0. Starburst: 100%!

3 thoughts on “Starburst Fruit Flavored Candy Corn”

  1. Dear Kelley,

    Sorry to hear hear you had to go through brain surgery, but I’m glad you made it through, and had the energy to write this review. Though I’m not much of a commenter, just wanted to say I love your reviews, and I find them hillarous. Thanks for keeping such an awesome blog!

    Best wishes,

    Tanya.L.K

  2. I offer my condolences regarding your brain surgery but also thank you for sharing. I lifted some of my self-pity about my own surgeries last month. Today was my first official “outing” since I left the hospital nearly two weeks ago. I accompanied my husband to our local Target where I picked up a 3.5-oz bag of these Starburst Candy Corn from the clearance aisle. I had never heard of them but was willing to pay 50 cents to give them a try.

    I really like the FLAVOR of Starbursts, but I have never been keen on the texture. I don’t really like stuff stuck in my teeth. As for candy corn, I don’t have a problem with their texture, but I outgrew the hankering for things so sugary sweet by the time I was 10 or so. My husband, on the other hand, LOVES candy corn so he anticipates their arrival each year even more than Santa’s. Some of the newer (flavors) of the Brach’s candy corn are okay in small doses to satisfy a sweet tooth but I don’t exactly crave them.

    Once we got home and I was fairly certain I had not done any permanent damage to myself or ruptured any sutures, I thought I was time to sample my new purchase. From the moment the first kernel entered my mouth, I was in fruity in bliss. SO, so, good. I agree, it probably is going to be too easy to overdo them and end up with a stomachache. It was with trepidation that I offered my candy corn loving husband one of each color. I figured that he would devour the remainder of the bag before I could stop him, but instead he actually stepped over to the sink and spit, then handed the uneaten samples back to me. Upon my reminding him that he likes Starbursts and they taste exactly like a Starburst does, he declared “Candy corn that doesn’t taste ANYTHING like candy corn is GROSS and should be prohibited from sale”. I started to argue, then realized this is the best news since the biopsies came back negative! My fruity candy corn is safe. This is proof opposites do attract– it’s why we can stay happily married for decades. That, plus the fact he was sweet enough to get back in the car, return to Target, stand in line again, etc so he could buy me enough to last several months (or a year) before they sold out.

  3. Hah, love your story, Terry! I hope you are recovering well, also. And thank both you and Tanya for the kind words and well-wishes.

    Without getting too into it, I’m recovering very well and hope to only get better. No matter what happens, I will always persevere to keep this blog up and running, that’s for sure.

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