Tag Archives: Easter

Junk Food

Limited Time Cheetos Sweetos Cinnamon Sugar Puffs

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Cheetos Sweetos Cinnamon Sugar Puffs BagI love that Cheetos has been engaging in the holiday spirit lately. The holidays usually belong to the world of candy and cookies. First there was Bag of Bones, and now there’s Sweetos Cinnamon Sugar Puffs.

On paper, the name shows no affiliation whatsoever with a holiday, but on bag, Cheetos Sweetos are Easter Central.

Cheetos Sweetos Cinnamon Sugar Puffs Chester Cheetah Easter Bunny

Chester Cheetah, one of my favorite snack mascots, is totally ready to party. He’s rocking the same cheap bunny-ear headband you yourself could buy at Party City, but he refuses to part with his trademark sunglasses. Then again, the sky is blue and the grass is green, so maybe he’s just being smart and protecting his eyes from the springtime sun.

He’s obviously on an Easter egg hunt, and he’s already grabbed some sweet finds for his basket – I spot “Monster Eyes” egg, “Charlie Brown, pastel style” egg, and what looks like a timely tribute to Barney the dinosaur.

But Chester’s after the best eggs of all – that’s right, Sweetos are shaped like decorated Easter eggs!

Except…why is this not in the name? Why not call them Sweetos Eggos? Oh…wait. Right. Actually, I can’t think of a single Easter pun that would work in this context, which is a rare  for me. So I guess I should stop bashing Cheetos for going with “Cinnamon Sugar Puffs”. Rhyming Cheetos and Sweetos is good enough for me.

When I first heard of Sweetos, I was pretty excited (like I do) and brought them up in conversation several times. Each time, I got the same response: “Ew, gross!”

I don’t understand this knee-jerk reaction at all. What’s with the immediate revulsion to the idea of cinnamon sugar puffs? My brain instantly went to Taco Bell (like I do) and their Cinnamon Twists.

I haven’t purchased these in at least a decade, what with having to save that precious stomach room for one extra Meximelt, but Cinnamon Twists are a tasty treat and I dare you to say otherwise. It’s the closest thing you’re going to get to a churro without going to the fair. Or Disneyland.

Upon opening my Sweetos bag, I was hit a strong, delicious aroma that I immediately recognized: Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Cinnamon Toast Crunch is one of my favorite cereals, so I was off to a good start.

Cheetos Sweetos Cinnamon Sugar Puffs

Cheetos Sweetos (why yes, I do enjoy saying that) could taste like dog turds and I still couldn’t deny them the kudos that the snack’s shape deserves. Each one is distinctly egg-shaped instead of just oval, with a larger base and narrower tip. And each one has two “stripes” that work both aesthetically and as a support structure to the shape. Despite their delicate texture, which was way less dense than a regular Cheeto, very few of my Sweetos were broken.

And yes, I was totally right – they taste a lot like Taco Bell Cinnamon Twists. Vindication, naysayers! They were very light and airy, but all had a generous amount of flavor dust on them. That’s another good reason to include the stripes – more surface area for the dust to cling to!

If only that dust carried more sugar. This is Cheetos Sweetos’ biggest downfall – the cinnamon is fine, but I found the sugar coating to be lacking. If I’m going to eat a cinnamon sugar snack, I want it to be cavity-inducing. This left them tasting a little flat.

The corn base is so airy that it tastes like almost nothing, which is kind of the point. The cinnamon and sugar should mask all corn. Again, the cinnamon does its job, but there’s only a little bit of sugar.

I might be wrong, but I can’t think of any snack out there on store shelves that’s like Cheetos Sweetos Cinnamon Sugar Puffs. And, since these are a Limited Time flavor, soon they’ll be gone forever, too.

I was going to say that I wish Cheetos Sweetos would stick around forever, but I kind of enjoy that such a thing is only available for a limited time. This is probably because I have to believe Sweetos will be back for another holiday. Tiny flag puffs for 4th of July, maybe?

Limited Time Cheetos Sweetos Cinnamon Sugar Puffs

  • Score: 3 out of 5 Easter Bunny Chester Cheetahs
  • Price: $2.49
  • Size: 7 oz. bag
  • Purchased at: Fry’s Foods
  • Nutritional Quirk: With brown sugar, sugar and molasses listed as ingredients, you’d think my sweet tooth would be more entertained.
Junk Food

Brach’s Carrot Cake Candy Corn

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Brach's Carrot Cake Candy Corn PackageI’m always for new holiday-related junk food. Even if it’s somewhat uninspired or just plain gross, I’m willing to try it, especially since odds are likely I’ll never see it again, or at least until next year.

There have been items I’ve really enjoyed, like Mission Sugar & Cinnamon Tortilla Chips and Scary Blackberry Ghoul-Aid. There have also been holiday items that made my mouth sad, like White Chocolate Peppermint Pringles and Disney Candied Apple Candy Corn.

Speaking of candy corn (talk about a suave segue), here we have yet another candy corn that isn’t supposed to taste like candy corn! Isn’t that exciting?

The answer is no. Remember how I said I’m all for new holiday food in the first sentence of this review? I’d like to directly contradict that by saying that I’m really tired of candy corn. Hell, I was tired of candy corn when it was just candy corn-flavored candy corn. Now things are really getting out of hand.

So now, here we are, with Brach’s Carrot Cake Candy Corn. Brach’s, the original candy corn offender.

If you’re going to try to get me to eat carrot cake candy corn, you’re going to have to do better with your packaging than a slice of cake and a vaguely Easter-looking basket with no handle. Seriously, no handle? I mean, I want an Easter bunny and some cute looking little chicks, but at this point I would settle for a tisket with a tasket. Sigh.

Brach's Carrot Cake Candy Corn

Well, at least the corns are kinda cute. The colors are vibrant and appropriately carrot-y.

When I first opened the bag and took a whiff, all I got was that weird plastic-like smell of regular candy corns. My brain went, “Oh no…oh wait, this could actually have gone much worse, so be thankful, nose.” And when I first popped a handful – looking back, throwing back this amount was a brazen move that could have gone terribly wrong – all I could taste was candy corn.

However, that flavor gradually gave way to distinctive but subtle notes of cinnamon and nutmeg that actually gave the corns a reasonable facsimile of the taste of carrot cake.

There was no hint of cream cheese frosting, which pairs so well with a nice, moist slice of carrot cake, but maybe that’s asking too much. Also, that initial taste of regular candy corn never quite went away, which, unfortunately, went a long way in removing the suspension of disbelief that you weren’t actually eating what is, essentially, a Halloween candy.

As I expected, the texture was also exactly the same as regular candy corn, which is neither a positive nor a negative; it just is, because these are candy corns.

I wouldn’t call Brach’s Carrot Cake Candy Corn offensive, but I can’t say I was blown away, either. They weren’t gross, but they weren’t great, either. If I found a small bag of them buried in the plastic grass of my Easter basket (with handle) amongst the Reese’s Eggs and giant chocolate bunny, I wouldn’t throw them in my parents’ face. I mean, it’s not like they’re black licorice jelly beans. I’m not a monster.

However, after one handful, I was already over carrot cake-flavored candy corns, so the other 11 ounces in this giant bag will probably sit in my cupboard for about six months before I need the room for whatever the next crazy flavor of Oreos is.

Brach’s Carrot Cake Candy Corn

  • Score: 2.5 out of 5 tiskets without taskets
  • Price: $2.29 (on sale; regular price $2.69)
  • Size: 12 oz. bag
  • Purchased at: Safeway #1717
  • Nutritional Quirks: It’s candy corn that tastes sort of like carrot cake; what more do you want?
Junk Food

M&Ms White Chocolate Carrot Cake

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M&Ms White Chocolate Carrot Cake BagM&Ms seems to have a thing going with white chocolate holiday-themed flavors. First it was Candy Corn. Then Peppermint. And just in time for Easter, we now have Carrot Cake.

For being such a well-known and widely available candy, M&Ms did not make finding White Chocolate Carrot Cake easy. First off, it’s a Walmart exclusive. Not an uncommon phenomenon, but one I always find displeasing, because…Walmart.

Second, not only is it a Walmart exclusive, it’s only available at select Walmarts. I didn’t know this until some sort of snack sense told me I should try to look up available locations before I left my house. I’m glad I did, since Walmart has a whole website devoted to finding a select store that carries them.

My closest Walmart was not on this list, which is why I’m so glad I looked, because going to Walmart is one thing, but going to Walmart and not finding the one thing I’m looking for just makes me want to murder every person in the store. Lucky for me, the next closest Walmart actually did have them. This is a lot of effort for goddamn M&Ms.

I consider the effort worth it, however. Easter is a holiday made for candy, but most of that candy comes in the form of chocolate bunnies, and regular candies packaged in plastic Easter eggs or pastel packaging.

That said, I give M&Ms credit right off the bat for actually thinking up an Easter flavored candy. I mean, eggs already taste like eggs, the church kind of has a stranglehold on things that taste like Jesus, and I don’t think making something rabbit-flavored would go over very well. Biting the ears off a bunny that’s made of chocolate is satisfying; actually chomping on a bunny-tasting bunny-shaped candy would make me uncomfortable and probably not go over well with the kids.

Given all that, I think M&Ms coming up with carrot cake is brilliant. Will the execution compete with the concept? We shall see in a moment.

First, I have to bitch and moan some more. Surprise! This time, it’s about the packaging. For the most part, the bag is simple and effective – it’s carrot cake. Here’s a slice of carrot cake.

That’s all well and good, but I am so not a fan of anthropomorphic Green M&M. Red and Yellow are dumb, but whatever. When they introduced Green as the “sexy” M&M, however, I was yucked out. Maybe it’s because I’ve been on the Internet for too long, but I am not fond of sexualizing any inanimate object.

The whole Green M&M schtick is annoying, and that is showcased here, with “her” wearing bunny ears and posed like Leonardo DiCaprio is about to draw her portrait. Plus, she totally has bedroom eyes, which is a sentence I feel dirty just typing. Ugh, take it away, I don’t want to look at it anymore. I’d rather see Red dressed up as a Playboy bunny looking bored or pissed off.

M&Ms White Chocolate Carrot Cake

Okay, here we are, with the actual candies. They’re about the same diameter as regular M&Ms, but have a bit more girth. I like the color scheme – the orange is obviously the brightest, representing, duh, the carrot. The green is more of an Easter pastel, but you can’t have a carrot-themed…whatever without some green representing the carrot stem.

The off-white is an interesting choice, but one that I approve of. It’s unrelated to the vegetable, but pertinent to carrot cake itself – part of the deliciousness of carrot cake is the cream cheese icing, which is pretty close to the color of these M&Ms. It’s an attention to detail that I appreciate.

I have to say, I was prepared to be disappointed by M&Ms White Chocolate Carrot Cake. I felt the candy had lofty goals that it wouldn’t be able to reach. Upon opening the bag, however, I was met with a strong and very pleasant cinnamon-and-nutmeg odor along with sugary sweetness. It was surprisingly reminiscent of real carrot cake.

M&Ms White Chocolate Carrot Cake Inside

As it turned out, my olfactory sense did not betray me – these M&Ms are about as close to tasting like actual carrot cake as a candy can get. Again, you’ve got that great blend of cinnamon and nutmeg that is prominent but not overwhelming. The use of white chocolate was an excellent choice – it let the spice flavors shine, while adding just the right amount of sweetness and acting as a cream cheese substitute.

In fact, there might even be a little cream cheese flavor magic going on here – while it’s easy to identify the above spices, there seems to be a little extra something that pushes it beyond just spice territory into an actual, cohesive carrot cake candy. The ingredient list doesn’t offer me any help: it’s mostly white chocolate and the regular sugar and food coloring flavors, along with the always-mysterious “natural and artificial flavors”.

Like I said, I had serious doubts about M&Ms White Chocolate Carrot Cake being able to deliver on their promised flavor. I’m happy to say I was wrong. Those crazy candy wizards over at Mars pulled it off. I love carrot cake, and I found myself continuing to shovel these guys into my mouth until I had to force myself to stop before I made myself sugar sick.

If you don’t like carrot cake, you’re not going to like these M&Ms, but that’s just another point showing how well they showcased the flavors. I’m sorry I got around to this review so late, but hey – you can probably run out and get some right now, or wait until Monday, when they’ll probably already be on clearance.

My biggest beef, besides my hatred of Green M&M, is how Walmart is only selling them in select stores. That makes no sense to me and is really annoying. But if you like carrot cake and would like to try a unique Easter treat, use the locator tool I linked above to see if there’s a Walmart within 500 miles of you that has been mysteriously chosen to be one of the select stores that carry them. Happy Easter! Or “Hoppy Easter”, if you like old, tired puns!

M&Ms White Chocolate Carrot Cake

  • Score: 4.5 out of 5 kicks to Green M&M’s stupid bedroom face
  • Price: $2.88
  • Size:9.9 oz. bag
  • Purchased at: Walmart
  • Nutritional Quirks: Damn you, “natural and artificial flavors”! I want to know what you use to make magical carrot cake candy! (On second thought, maybe I don’t…)

The Impulsive Buy also reviewed these White Chocolate Carrot Cake M&Ms!