Tag Archives: news

News: Twinkies Make “The Sweetest Comeback in the History of Ever” on July 15!

Yes, you read correctly: Twinkies are coming back! And a handful of other Hostess treats, too.

You may be wondering how this happened, since Hostess filed for bankruptcy. If you’re like me, you had no doubt that Twinkies would be back – somebody was gonna buy Hostess and re-start production, right?

Well, that’s pretty much what happened, but it gets a little more complicated than that. WARNING: Business words and stuff ahead!

After reading about four different business articles and looking up some terminology, I now have an MBA and think I can break it down with at least some accuracy like this:

Hostess is now owned by the private equity firms Apollo Global Management and Metropoulos & Co. This allows Hostess to bring back Twinkies and other beloved sweets.

There’s a bunch of gobbledygook (technical term) that means that these firms own Hostess under what’s called a “stalking horse bid”, which Wikipedia defines as “an attempt by a debtor to test the market in advance of an auction. The intent is to maximize the value of its assets as part of (or before) a court auction in case of bankruptcy.”

So, if I’ve researched correctly, basically Hostess will make their Twinkies, you will buy them, and this will inflate the value of Hostess as a company. The equity firms can then “flip” Hostess for what would probably be a large profit, selling it off to another company.

C. Dean Metropoulos, who is, by the way, worth $1.2 billion, has done this before with companies like International Home Foods.

What does this mean for you, the consumer and presumed lover of Twinkies? On July 15, you will witness “the sweetest comeback in the history of ever.” (Hostess’s words, not mine.)

I could have just said that in the first place, but I thought I’d give you a little business lesson in the process. Just get yourself a Twinkie and enjoy it.

News: Popeye’s Rip’n Chick’n Returns; Still Prefers Apostrophes Over Vowels

I first wrote about Popeye’s Rip’n Chick’n back in July of last year; I never got around to reviewing it, probably because of time or real life or something stupid like that. Well, now it’s back! Here’s the official description:

“Rip’n Chick’n is a boneless chicken breast marinated with a blend of spicy peppers, then hand-battered, breaded and cooked. The chicken breast is sliced into pull-apart strips that are easy to rip and dip. This portable treat is served with cool buttermilk ranch dipping sauce for $3.99 and available as a combo with Cajun fries and a biscuit for just $1 more.”

I’m not an angry person, but if I need to take out some aggression, I think I’d rather do it on food as opposed to, say, my bathroom mirror. It also sounds a lot more tasty and a lot less painful.

GrubGrade actually reviewed Rip’n Chick’n last year, and while it’s hard to tell from the promo photo above, apparently it looks eerily like a monster hand, which makes it all the better. Who doesn’t want to rip off and then consume monster fingers? If you don’t, something is wrong with you.

Rip’n Chick’n is only back for a limited time, so if you want the chance to rip and dip (as opposed to grip and sip, which is a very different thing), head over to Popeye’s soon.

News: You Cannot Stop It: The Taco Bell Doritos Locos Taco Is Coming

Taco Bell is finally unleashing the monster.

Way back in April of last year, the news broke that Taco Bell was releasing the Doritos Locos Taco in test markets. Unfortunately, I didn’t live anywhere near one of them. But on March 8, they will be making this…thing available nationwide.

What is the Doritos Locos Taco? Well, basically it’s a regular Taco Bell taco with one ridiculous addition – a taco shell made out of Nacho Cheese Doritos. You can also get a Supreme Taco, which basically just adds chopped tomatoes and sour cream to a regular taco. With a Doritos shell

If you can’t wait to find out what a Dorito and a taco taste like together, Doritos is doing a “Hometown Tweet-Off”, wherein the person who gets the most retweets by Tweeting using the hashtags #DoritosLocosTacos and #Contest will get a visit from the Taco Bell Truck, which will give out Doritos Locos Tacos to the winner and their probably bewildered neighbors.

Sources: GrubGrade, Fast Food Maven

News: Popeyes Wants You to Take Your Aggression Out on New Rip’n Chick’n

Do you always order the blooming onion appetizer at restaurants? Did you rip the heads off of all your sister’s Barbies as a kid? Then you may enjoy Popeye’s new Rip’n Chick’n.

The premise here is that Popeyes takes a whole white meat chicken breast and cuts it into strips, but keeps the strips connected at the base. They then marinate the mutilated breast in four different peppers (cayenne, habanero, white and black peppers) and “Louisiana seasonings”, whatever they may be. It’s then hand battered and fried.

It’s basically just a unique twist on their Louisiana Tenders, but I like the idea. I’m down with any food that lets me take my aggression out on it. *RIP* Take that, guy that cut me off in traffic this morning! *RIP* How dare you leave SVU, Chris Meloni! Now who is going to get inappropriately angry at rapists and throw them against the interrogation room wall? I trusted you to rid New York of its unusually high population of violent pedophiles! *RIP*

Rip’n Chick’n comes with Cajun fries, a biscuit and buttermilk ranch for dip’n for $3.99. It’s only available through August 28, so if anger management classes aren’t working out for you, you better hurry on down to Popeyes soon.

Sources: Brand Eating, GrubGrade

News: Hardee’s Country Fried Steak ‘N’ Gravy Biscuit – I Want It

Curses!  This new Country Fried Steak ‘N’ Gravy Biscuit from Hardee’s looks like the culinary equivalent of a unicorn galloping across a rainbow.  Country fried steak + biscuits and gravy = Serious Awesome.  Unfortunately, I happen to live in a part of the country that thinks Carl’s Jr. when they see the Happy Star, not Hardee’s.  The closest Hardee’s to me is approximately 982 miles away and it would take 18 hours and 12 minutes to drive there.  Not that I considered doing such a thing.  That would be silly, right?

Their website describes the sandwich as “A seasoned, country fried steak with a generous portion of sausage gravy served between a Made From Scratch® buttermilk biscuit.”

My heart and stomach ache for it.

I’ll have to live vicariously through other people’s reviews for now.  Hopefully, if it sells well, they’ll bring it over to Carl’s Jr.’s menu.  If that ever happens, I’ll be on the Country Fried Steak ‘N’ Gravy Biscuit like sausage gravy on a country fried steak.  Aw, man.  Even my terrible analogies show I’ve got Hardee’s on the brain.

If you actually live in a state that has a Hardee’s, the sandwich retails for $2.19.  I urge you to try one out and let me know what you think!

News: KFC Double Down – I want it

Holy cow.  The KFC Double Down.  According to this LA Times post, it’s only available in Omaha, NE and Providence, RI right now, which makes me weep. Two fried chicken fillets sit where the two pieces of bread on a sandwich would be, and in between them are slices of cheese, bacon, and Colonel’s Sauce.  Amazing.

Photo courtesy the LA Times
Photo courtesy the LA Times

You’d better believe I’m going to get one of these on my hands as soon as possible.  Is there anything that better represents this great country?  America!